Thursday, November 19, 2009

The SADness has set in

I always forget how bad it can get. This year is a bad one.

I always have at least a mild case of SAD. But some years I get it bad.

I am fairly certain this is one of those years.

I am really trying to be grateful and content and not sad.

I am grateful and content, but I am still so sad.

It is hard when your hormones are working against you. And when you would just really like to have a baby, and it seems like everyone you know is pregnant or just had a baby, and even some people are pregnant with twins...And especially because you are trying to be happy for them (and you are happy for them) but you are kinda jealous....And especially especially because you will probably never ever ever get to have your own baby ever again.

It is really hard not to be sad.

But I will be fine.

I just have to keep being grateful for what I have got. :)


  1. It's OK to be sad. Just pamper yourself, bask in the sunlight and enjoy the calmness. I joked about using the computer screen as a SAD light but I really do not experience SAD. I'm praying that this will NOT be a bad year for you and God allows many rays of sun to warm your soul and emotions.

    Have a better day and enjoy your many blessings!!!

  2. Oh Lawanda. Thank you for the encouraging comment. You really helped me to put things into perspective. Funny how sometimes things seem so difficult, but then years later, we wish we could relive it all over again because it meant so much. I hope you are feeling better soon.

  3. Oh, hugs to you Lawanda! Just hug your girls tight.

  4. oh poor hunny. I know what you mean. I've got such a bad case of empty nest syndrome I can't hardly stand it. I asked DH today if he'd consider reversing his vasectomy because I am not handling my boys being grown up and leaving home very well at all. :(

  5. Oh, Lawanda, you poor dear. I wish I could make it brighter for you. It is indeed so hard to want something so badly and to feel it is out of reach. I continue to pray for you and Kevin, that one way or the other your hearts could align on the baby issue.

    When I get in the mindset you are in, I say my black dog is hanging around. Sometimes he sits at my feet, sometimes he's a chihuahua I try to shoo off my lap. Sounds like you've got a big ol' Newfoundland trying to perch on your head.

  6. I can relate. Its been a year now that we've been trying for another baby and it just hasn't happened. I'm trying to stay hopeful and to be content with the two kids I have but I still long for that little one that I feel will make hte family complete.